Six Months Till South 한국...

The fact that there is a possibility is what is keeping me up at night, and when I do fall asleep it's a restless one. I keep thinking no way, this can't happen, it's impossible. But the Possibility is still there and that is why it's scary.

It's the what if that is scaring me like crazy. It creeps into my mind in the quiet moments and then I become fearful. What ifs are scary creatures that lurk in the shadows of the mind. Like a being that haunts you even in your waking hours.

I'm trying to be brave and just wait, but the what if lurks in my mind only to be met by what would I do if...

It makes me shudder to think about it, so I do my best not do. But I cannot hide from my fear of the what ifs...of the fact that there is a Possibility. Waiting to find out is its own form of torture. Waiting, as the days pass me by bringing me closer to an answer that will either set me free or bind me even more.

I won't lie and say I am not scared. I'm very scared, but all I can do is wait. So while I wait I'm going to keep moving forward and enjoying each day because no matter what happens I have to do my best, make the best of every situation, and not let the fear conquer me.

So I'm just going to keep breathing because that is really all I can do. I'm going to accept the fear and manage it. I'm going to trust in my God and believe in the future He has promised me.

I have my whole life ahead of me, and nothing is going to stop me from living it.